Thursday, May 7, 2009

a rough ride over 2 weeks and 3 days

Yea, I've had some celebrations and some exciting things to talk about over the past 2 weeks and 3 days. In addition to the exciting news and everything I have had a really challenging time. I hurt! Beyond sore hurt too. I am not injured and I am doing better now. I have not put this in the blog until today, because I did not know what to put. In addition to my hurting, my head was cloudy. Cloudy for multiple reasons, my aches were keeping me up at night so I was not sleeping well. Then last Friday my Mom discloses that she was having a biopsy on her tongue because her medical doctor thought she had cancer. My head got really cloudy. Thank goodness it came back as non-malignant, but still a very scary few days.

Now as I mentioned before I go to an acupuncturist on a regular basis, he is for a lack of another term my primary care physician. I call him for all sorts of things and it is addressed in a Chinese Medicine and philosofical kind of way. One that I understand and comfortable with, I understand not everyone will be comfortable with his xplainations. Before the aching started, my chiropractor stated that there is a deficiancy in my system and suggested a couple of specific vitamins to take. So I started on those. Then my acupuncturist put it in this way again stating the safe deficiancy. My body is changing rapidly he said. It is getting stronger and doing things it has never done or has not done in a long time. It has to adjust, so some aches and pains may occure. He goes into more detail, but that is the basic part of the conversation. If you want to know the details ask.

What I have gone through is tough! For me at least. I had to really push myself beyond what I thought possible. I had the energy level of a slug and felt like a blob. Yea, one day I left the gym without finishing my wrkout, went home and cried. Feeling like a failure and feeling just plain terrible. I had a pity party! It was a day and a half of how bad I am doing and how I do not even understand the purpose of this ride. Blah blah blah! I felt that bad!!! Then the news from my Mom, I didn't know what to do.

I pushed through and not until yesterday did I even start to feel like myself. It's been tough, but I'm glad I have had this experience, for so many reasons. I as at the 2 month mark. Most studies show that it takes 2 months to start a new habit, though habits are always easy to break when the going gets tough. I had a tough time getting there and making it happen, but I went and gave what I had, which I have to tell you it wasn't much. I also had to make myself get on the bike, even though my legs felt broken, as though he bones had shattered. They have not had such a physical injury, but I feel it is all the emotional stuff I've stored over the years in the fat of my body. I also feel my acupuncturist got it right when he stated that for my body, I'm performing at an elite athlete level. I got to trea it that way. I got a chuckle out of that later, eeing a great Tshirt or comic strip, but recognied the truth in it.

Then we sat down to watch The Biggest Loser. They had a challenge to run a marathon. One of the things I find as a neat thing to achieve, but have a century ride and a triathlon that I want to achieve first. Throughout the show I heard one of the contestants state that fat people don't do marathons and that walking a marathon doesn't count (he had an injury that kept him from running). The truth of what my acupuncturist said started to ring through. I cried for each of the 4 contestants as they crossed the finish line. Proud of their accomplishment. That is an amazing thing to do, to walk 26 miles and to push yourself through the fear and pain!

I hate hearing people say you can't do something. You can't do something because you're a woman, you're fat, you're this or you're that. I'm hear to ell you that you can!!!! That is as long as it is with in reason. Find a way, it may not happen right away, but set goals, it will happen. People told me I shouldn't go to college, I graduated from Hollins. That I couldn't rock climb, I have. People have told me that I shouldn't, couldn't and can't a lot. I'm here to tell you that you and I can, will and are!

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quite, however, it lasts forever."
~Lance Armstrong

I'm not quiting and hope that you join me in this fight!
Ride on!

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