resurfacing

I have to say that my life has been all out of sorts for the past several months. I am just now feeling like I am resurfacing, though I thought I was doing pretty good, I can tell now that I have not been myself. It also helps that Tammy and Jessee have both commented that it is nice to have me back.

I have to tell you, my hat goes off to all of the people who have fought and fighting cancer!!
I have to tell you, my hat goes off to all of the people who have had a loved one fight cancer!!
I have to tell you, my hat goes off to all of the people who are caretakers to people with cancer!!
It is ROUGH!!!

I have grown up always knowing cancer in one way or another, since many relatives and friends have lived and died with cancer. When it was my Dad, one of the two people who have been with me my whole life, it was hard to hear. Hard to grasp. Hard all around. Then all of the other stuff in between!

A few weeks ago I wrote a post titled "The Ride", that was pretty much how I have felt. Even after my Dad stated that there were no more tumors, it took a few weeks for it to register. You are kind of on edge, waiting to make sure the information was right, making sure they have the right person, just making sure, because things became so uncertain once you have heard them say, "I've got cancer!".

I am not sure life will ever be the same after all of that. I cannot imagine the struggle people living with cancer have. To know there is this foreign thing in their body, slowly killing them unless they go through treatments that make them feel like they are dieing or pretty darned bad. Cancer almost makes you paranoid and on alert at all times so that you are ready, but you are never ready.

Even with a friend talking me through the phases and warning me that when the anger phase hits it is without warning. I thought, well I am pretty intuitive, I'll be ready. With tears streaming down my face weeks later, no I was not ready. It comes out of no where and not even the warning it was going to happen helped, until afterward. Nothing prepares you for all of the stages of anger, denial, fear, and in some cases loss. It is good to know though, because you know you are not losing your mind and you are not the only one feeling lost in the middle of the woods without a compass.

My biggest advice I have for you, if you or a loved one or a friend is diagnosed with cancer, these are my most valuable tips!
1. Get a support network!!! Do not think you can do this alone!!!
2. Get more support network!!! You still cannot do this alone!!!
3. Believe in something higher than yourself!!! Even if it is that the grass is green and the sky is blue, have some kind of anchor to hold on to.
4. Do not get caught up in the story, because you can get lost.
5. Did I mention a support network?
6. Play! Always make sure you have fun things to do (if you have cancer as you are able). It helps to keep your spirit young and recognize joy in your life, because it does get tough to see.
7. Stay strong! Know you are not alone.
8. Eat well and drink water!
9. Love often!
10. Keep a journal, do not get caught with the same reel rolling through your head, let it go.

Taking a breath!
-Rhonda